#LOL MONDAYS

Nothing Left To Explore? Don’t Bluff, Lah

Don’t wait till National Day to get in touch with your island home.

By Alywin Chew      1 August 2022

I really don’t understand why anyone would say that there’s nothing left to discover in Singapore.

Yes, we live in a tiny country, but how many of us have explored every nook and cranny this island has to offer?

I reckon not many. I know I haven’t. You see, I spent most of my life living in the West, and you know as well as I do that travelling all the way from one end of Singapore to another is no small feat.

Such feats are only performed because of three reasons:

  1. You need to go to Changi Airport to catch a flight
  2. You need to catch that ferry to Pulau Tekong
  3. Your girlfriend/boyfriend lives in Pasir Ris and the parents are not home

Honestly, I wish I had more time to just wander around the other parts of Singapore and discover new things. My first stop would be Yishun. I know this sounds crazy, but I don’t think I’ve ever stepped foot into this town more than three times in my entire life. 

Here’s something I recently learned about Yishun – it is home to the housing estate called Chong Pang. 

Did you know that? I didn’t. And this was why I was waiting at the nasi lemak stall on Sembawang Road like a goondu while my friends waited for me in the actual Chong Pang.

I’d also like to explore the surrounding islands. The last time I went to Pulau Ubin was probably two decades ago. Come think of it, I have not even been to the likes of St John’s Island and Kusu Island. 

I don’t think most people are inclined to take a trip to these islands, but you can’t really blame them. Because there just doesn’t seem to be much to do. I think this is something we can learn from South Korea, which I find has done an amazing job at showcasing their seaside destinations such as Pohang and Jeju through the shows Hometown Cha Cha Cha and Our Blues respectively. 

That’s right, we need to create television series and films that immerse audiences in the charm of these rustic places. Throw the spotlight on the food and scenery. Seriously, it works. Humans are highly visual creatures. We tend to develop a craving for nice things we see on the screen.

Every time I watch a K-drama, I end up snacking on instant ramen and Korean beer.

Here’s an idea. Let’s get Jack Neo to direct this movie. Let’s call it Ah Balling in Tekong. That’s right. Let’s open Tekong up to the public on certain days. Take my word for it – this place simply takes your breath away. 

Really, just look at the BMT recruits – they’re always breathless. Because “shag”.

I really hope we get another round of SingapoRediscover vouchers. Because there’s definitely much of this country still left to explore. And I’m sure if the vouchers could be redeemed for tickets to the National Day Parade, they’d be snapped up faster than you can say “flypast”.

You know, I really don’t understand why people would use the vouchers for a staycation. I’d never go on one because I find my home to be the most comfortable place on this planet. 

Look, I didn’t get my CPF savings wiped out just to buy a flat that I don’t want to be in. 

But a friend of mine apparently loves staycations because of one thing – room service.

“That’s quite possibly the silliest thing I have ever heard! Room service? What on earth is so appealing about room service?” I said.

“I think it’s really shiok to have someone prepare a nice meal and bring it right to your doorstep in a trolley!” he quipped.

“Dude, you know you can have the same thing at home, right?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Just order GrabFood lah!”

LOL Mondays is an ongoing series of slice-of-life stories from freelance writer and NSman Alywin Chew. Look out for the humorous tales which will be posted every first Monday of the month, to help you drive away your Monday blues!

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