Loneliness is a huge problem that can have far-reaching effects. Last November, the World Health Organization declared loneliness to be a pressing global health threat, linking it with an increased risk of developing dementia, coronary heart disease and stroke. Loneliness can also leave young people feeling socially isolated, which may impact their emotional wellbeing and contribute to serious mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.
Conversely, having close friends gives us a sense of belonging and purpose, makes us feel more confident, improves our mood, enriches our lives, and boosts our happiness.
So, how do we go about making new friends and nurturing the friendships we already have, especially if we are always busy or don’t always feel comfortable putting ourselves out there?
The International Day of Friendship on 30 July is a great occasion to think about the different ways to expand your social circle and make space in your life for new people who can help you grow as an individual.
Here are six to start with.
1. Seek out people with similar interests
When you find people who share the same interests as you, you’ll find it easier to connect with them, says June Wee-Grant, a life and modern leadership coach. She suggests making a list of activities you enjoy or have always wanted to try, and then joining a group or club that lets you meet people who love doing those same things.
“They could start out as activity buddies at the very least, and these connections may eventually evolve into friendships,” she adds.
It can be scary initiating conversations with complete strangers, but it’s important to take that first step.
“Feeling vulnerable may actually be a good thing, because it can help warm other people up to you,” June says.
“You could start the conversation by saying something like, ‘It’s my first time here and I don’t know anyone – what about you?’.
“If that person is in the same boat as you, he may feel a sense of relief that he’s met you. On the other hand, if he’s familiar with others at the event, he may offer to introduce you to them and try to make you feel more at ease.”
2. Catch up with old friends
Many of us have friends from our school days whom we’re no longer in touch with. Perhaps their lives went in a completely different direction and you never crossed paths with them again.
If you feel that you can pick up where you left off with them, then why not look them up and reach out to them? It may feel awkward at first, especially if you haven’t seen each other in a long time, but June says to be casual in your approach. Who knows, they may be thrilled to hear from you and agree to catch up with you over a meal or a drink.
3. Do volunteer work
Volunteering is a great way to not only give back to your community, contribute to a special cause, learn new skills and improve your emotional wellbeing; it’s also a chance to meet new people and participate in a shared activity with them.
Friendships take time to build, so even if you volunteer once or twice a month, you’ll have regular opportunities to spend time with fellow volunteers and nurture the bonds that you’ve created with them.
Find out more about how volunteering can enrich your life.
4. Make new friends through the ones you already have
If you are especially shy or don’t feel comfortable making new friends on your own, try joining the social circles of people you already know. That way, you won’t have to go through the process of looking for new people to hang out with, and, since you already know one person in the group, you’ll find it easier to open up and be yourself in front of the others.
“Look at your friends and colleagues and identify the ones who are sociable and have a large network of friends,” says June.
“Let them know that you’d like to tag along with them to some of their outings, so they’ll know to invite you in the future.”
5. Work on your current friendships
Don’t let the friendships you have fall by the wayside. Many friendships die out because both sides never bothered to stay in touch or work on the connection.
“Check in with your friends from time to time to find out how they’re doing, and plan things to do together,” June explains.
For instance, schedule regular dinner dates, play your favourite sports and games, or organise a weekend road trip.
But remember, maintaining close friendships isn’t just about spending time together, June continues. It’s also about engaging with each other authentically. When you’re tuned in to the other person, you connect with them on a more meaningful and genuine level.
6. Become a SAFRA member
Joining SAFRA gives you the chance to access the perks and amenities of a club lifestyle, score the best deals and discounts in town, and obtain exclusive services.
Beyond that, it’s an easy and convenient way to meet new people and maintain friendships with your NS buddies, thanks to the various social, recreational, sports and educational events offered regularly at the clubhouses. There are also many interest groups you can join, from the Social Badminton Club and the Adventure Club, to the Tech Club, the Golfing Section, and the Travel Club.
SAFRA Membership is open to all existing and former Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) NSmen, full-time National Servicemen (NSFs), SAF Regulars, Defence Executive Officers and their dependents.
For more information and details on eligibility and how to join, go to safra.sg/faq/safra-membership.
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