We’re back at that time of the year again when we shamelessly lie to ourselves.
Yes, I’m talking about New Year’s resolutions.
Well, I didn’t quite succeed in sticking to last year’s resolution, which was to lose five kg. I guess you could say I’m still working at it – I just have 10 more kg to go.
Sheesh, if only growing my bank account was as easy as putting on weight.
You know, I used to be a scrawny NSF who struggled to gain weight. I could eat as much as I wanted and not have to worry about getting a belly because my metabolism was like a raging furnace. Back then, calories weren’t something we counted; they were things we inhaled just to survive the day. Whether it was wolfing down canned sardines during outfield or demolishing three plates of rice at the cookhouse because “training later confirm shag”.
These days, however, my metabolism is like that pile of solid fuel underneath an army mess tin filled with Maggi instant noodles.
Truth be told, I did try to achieve that goal of losing five kg. In fact, I even went to the extent of counting calories so that I could attain that impossible calorie deficit, which if you didn’t know, is what you need to lose weight.
That was such a nightmare. Firstly, I suck at math, so I naturally dislike doing calculations. Secondly, it was just downright depressing to learn how many calories my favourite snacks have. This is especially so during Chinese New Year.
For example, do you know how many calories a single pineapple tart has? Between 80 to 90 calories.
Pop five of them (I mean, who on earth stops at one, right?) and you’ll have to do an hour of Zumba to burn it all off. And let’s be honest. We’re usually also polishing off a whole bunch of other snacks too, like bak kwa (180 calories per slice) and kueh lapis (160 calories per slice).
Plus, I’m also married. What does this have to do with calories?
Well, I have to attend two reunion dinners, two Day 1 lunches and two Day 1 dinners. Throw in the additional calories I get from all these snacks and I end up with the calorie count of an elite bodybuilder.
Well, I guess I could argue that I am building my body. Laterally.
Anyway, although I didn’t manage to lose weight, I did learn a lot about the science behind weight loss. For starters, don’t listen to all those silly influencers telling you that you need to do abdominal exercises to burn belly fat.
I know, it does sound rather logical, doesn’t it? But no, this is just nonsense. You only lose fat when you burn more calories than you eat.
We could probably say the same thing about that prank the BMT instructors like to pull off during field camp – steal the recruits’ rifles. Yes, it is logical that I need to always keep my weapon by my side.
But seriously, do you really think the enemy is going to tip toe into a camp and steal a rifle?
If only wars were so civil.
You know, I’ve come to realise that trying to make a resolution come true can be incredibly difficult when you set goals that are too specific. I reckon it’ll be much easier to have a vague resolution like “I’m going to lose weight” instead of “I’m going to lose five kg”.
Is that cheating? Well, not really. I mean, does the platoon sergeant ever tell you which tree he wants you to touch? No. He just tells you to touch the tree.
Anyway, I’m still going to make a New Year’s resolution of starting 2025 on a healthy note – just that it will have nothing to do with going to the gym or jogging 10 km every day. Sounds confusing? Well it’s not.
Because I’m talking about my mental health.
Forget counting calories. That can be ridiculously depressing. I’m just going to eat to my heart’s content this Chinese New Year before burning it all off at the SAFRA Fitness Race, which will be held at SAFRA Choa Chu Kang in end-February.
In case you haven’t heard, the event format is similar to the wildly popular Hy–x, so be sure to sign up if you’re a fan of activities that remind you of the SOC+tekan+IPPT sessions back in NS.
But though I’m taking part in the SAFRA Fitness Race, I certainly won’t be doing the same for the next Hy–x competition in Singapore.
Why? Because they have a particular station called Burpee Broad Jumps.
Yes, I kid you not. Burpee. Broad. Jumps.
I wonder which twisted person came up with this idea to combine two of my greatest nightmares from BMT into a single exercise.
So, here’s my plan: I’m going to channel my inner recruit (minus the tekan) and prep for the SAFRA Fitness Race. It’s the perfect antidote to the calorie overload from the Lunar New Year feasting. Running, lifting, sweating it out – it’s a nostalgic trip back to the days when all we had to worry about was passing IPPT to avoid extra duties.
The beauty of the SAFRA Fitness Race is that it’s a little kinder to us ex-NSFs. Sure, it’ll remind you of the days when your field pack felt like it was filled with bricks, but at least there are no sergeants yelling in your face. It’s all about challenging yourself, having fun, and maybe getting a little bit fitter along the way.
Better yet, get your buddies to join you! At the SAFRA Fitness Race, that same NS spirit of teamwork and encouragement thrives. It’s about pushing one another to finish that last rep, cheering on someone struggling through a tough station, and laughing together at the end of it all. Because at the heart of it, it’s not just about fitness – it’s about the friendships and memories you build along the way.
Plus, it’s taking place at SAFRA Choa Chu Kang, which means you can reward yourself after the race with some good food at the clubhouse. Priorities, am I right?
Come join the SAFRA Fitness Fest 2025: safra.sg/whats-on/fitness-fest-2025
LOL Mondays is an ongoing series of slice-of-life stories from freelance writer and NSman Ethan Lim.
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