#EDITORIAL
Green is the New Black

Climate change is no hoax.

By Alywin Chew      15 March 2020

Toilet paper is something I’ve always been baffled with. I mean, we’re essentially paying a few cents each time just to wipe our bums. It’s like literally flushing money down the toilet bowl!

Next, let’s do something about reusable straws because these things just aren’t practical. You see, ladies have their pretty purses to store these straws. But men? Are we supposed to stick it in the back pocket like what we did in the 1980s with those pointy orange combs?

I reckon the fashion industry needs to chip in on this. Design something hip that men can carry. No, not the fanny pack. Geez, those should stay dead.

What about a holster, one large enough to store our achingly hip reusable straws and other accessories for the modern man?

In fact, we could even throw technology and gamification into the mix. Let’s invent intelligent reusable straws that can keep track of how many bubble tea balls one consumes. The person atop the leaderboard every month gets to win a prize.

But knowing how Singaporeans are so kiasu, I reckon the first prize would need to be a colonoscopy and some very strong laxatives.

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