It’s wonderful how Christmas seems to make everything a tad jollier! Can you feel the Christmas spirit in the air?

But it’s not just about the Christmas ornaments and lights, and the abundance of festive log cakes and turkey; it’s about the gatherings and catching up with friends and family, and the love, joy and good vibes in the air that is almost palpable.

We speak to four of our friends who are looking forward to Christmas, to learn how they intend to celebrate in our uniquely Singaporean fashion! 

It might be cliché, but Christmas is really all about family. 

We spend so much of our time invested in our professional obligations that time slips away, leaving me especially introspective as we reach the conclusion of yet another year. 

My holidays will seem unexciting to most, but there is no other way I would rather spend them. Watching Christmas specials with my family as we gobble down a heartwarming KFC feast (not sure why, but KFC is reminiscent of the Yuletide season for us) – an indulgence in the simplicity of the precious moments when we put aside our phones for familial banter and chats. 

To all who are reading this: Have a wondrous Christmas and a joyful New Year! 

– CPL (NS) Woo Kiah Kien, MCSSB, Technician 

I’m actually really excited as this is the first Christmas season that I am spending with my beloved partner. Like many of us, I find myself so caught up with work and essentially, the hustle of everyday life that moments of reprieve like this one must be deeply savoured. There will be food, games and gifts shared between my partner, me and of course, my family.

Interestingly, I had the experience of being the Duty Sergeant during the Christmas season years ago. The Cookhouse had prepared a festive menu that was really special, and because many enjoyed an early bookout during the eve of the holidays, there was this indescribable solace that was so comforting to me and my military colleagues. Time seemed to move slower then. 

– 1SGT (NS) Shannon Yeo, MCSSB, MT Warrant 

Still need Christmas gift ideas? Here is our list for the techie in your life.

The festive holiday has a special meaning to my family, as it is more than just the food and companionship. It is a season of unity and giving.

Both my son and brother, who are currently situated overseas, are coming back home to celebrate Christmas together. I’m filled with joy to reunite with the people whom I love the most, especially given how preoccupied we have been with our never-ending list of responsibilities. 

This reunion will be an especially joyful one as we toast to my brother’s engagement to his lovely partner, who will soon join our ranks! He managed to find love at 62 – can you believe it? My family and I are just so happy for him, and we look forward to welcoming them this Christmas holiday! 

– COL (NS) Toh Han Li, Chairman, SAFRA Jurong Executive Committee

I love the various gift exchanges that I have with my groups of friends! It’s not just the act of receiving, but rather, the meticulous pursuit of the perfect gift befitting the comradery and friendship that we have shared for so many years. We rarely express appreciation for those who matter, and it is these gift exchanges that convey the gratitude that has been left unspoken.

That said, I am a huge collector of electronic gadgets of all kinds and hopefully, my friends know this when getting my gift (take the hint!). Jokes aside, I am really content knowing that regardless of our schedules, my friends and I will find the time to meet up during this festive holiday to reminisce and celebrate the many memories and moments that we have shared together. 

– LCPL (NS) Louis Low, MCSSB, Battalion HQ

It’s not too late to book that Christmas feast with your loved ones – from lavish buffets to leisurely afternoon teas, here are our suggestions!

Main photo: SPH Media Trust

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The post Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Our Lion City For Christmas Joy! appeared first on eNSMAN.

One of SAFRA’s most visited clubs with over 100,000 monthly visitors, SAFRA Toa Payoh has long been a standing testament of its timelessness and adaptability. After all, it isn’t easy for a clubhouse to remain as contemporary as it is today for over 49 years since it was first opened in 1975, making it SAFRA’s oldest clubhouse. 

Unbeknownst to many, it is actually the generations of dedicated volunteers who have been driving some of SAFRA’s most pivotal developments behind the scene. They contribute their time, efforts and skills unconditionally, stirred by a personal mission to support our NSmen as best as they can. 

COL (NS) Roysten Lee Chee Chow, Chairman of SAFRA Toa Payoh’s Executive Committee since 2023, understands exactly what volunteerism entails, having been part of SAFRA since 2016. “At SAFRA, we all contribute because we believe in the potential and strength of our National Servicemen,” he shares. He envisions SAFRA Toa Payoh as a multifaceted recreational destination for all, and hopes to cement its reputation as the premier family-friendly lifestyle hub. 

We sat with him to discuss his personal motivations as an advocate for volunteerism, his plans for SAFRA Toa Payoh as well as insights for our future generation of volunteers and leaders.

Opportunities knock twice, so make sure to open the door!

A Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) scholar, Roysten was once a diligent undergraduate at National University of Singapore (NUS) equipped with big dreams, and bigger ambitions. He then trudged the fields, weathering unpredictable terrain alongside an elite formation of Guard soldiers; then took part in Army training policy formulation for 8 years, before venturing overseas to discover a life outside of our little red dot.

Upon his return, he was given the opportunity to contribute to Marina Bay Sands’ early developments as a founding team member. When he was invited to be part of an upcoming SAFRA Development Project then, he declined. “I had just returned to Singapore, and I was afraid I couldn’t juggle the workload. I told them at that time, “If there is another opportunity to work with SAFRA, I would gladly volunteer. But not that day,” he shared. 

That opportunity soon came in 2016, when Roysten was once again offered the opportunity to volunteer at SAFRA, which he happily accepted to become part of SAFRA Toa Payoh’s Executive Committee. After all, SAFRA had already been an integral part of his life, given that he would send his children for swimming lessons while he visited SAFRA’s various dining outlets.

“If anything, SAFRA embodies the authenticity of shared experiences and quality relationships that we can also find during our National Service. We go through so much together as team members and friends, from the planning and executing of SAFRA events to cohesion sessions that we organise for our volunteers,” he introspects. 

To Roysten, volunteering at SAFRA is his way of making the difference he has aimed for since his early days as an undergraduate. “I value everyone in our SAFRA family who has sacrificed their time and energy to help our community achieve new milestones and share unforgettable memories. This endeavour gives me a lot of personal satisfaction,” he shares. 

Collaboration is key

Leadership isn’t always a linear road. 

The Executive Committee would frequently find themselves at odds with challenges that they would need to navigate tactfully, a great example being the Covid-19 pandemic.

However, Roysten was no stranger to such disruptions. “I oversee Marina Bay Sands’ Crisis Management and Business Continuity portfolio, so dealing with uncertainty and interruptions are my forte. In my line of work, it is important that we cultivate quality relationships because often, positive collaborations are necessary for us to rise above adversity. That’s the same ethos I followed when I was Vice-Chairman and now, Chairman,” he says. 

Just as he took over as Chairman in 2023, he found himself in quite a predicament when the Toa Payoh Integrated Development (TPID) project was announced. While this district-wide initiative would introduce an array of contemporary facilities such as a new sports centre and polyclinic for its residents, it would also close various sporting facilities until 2030, including the swimming pool at SAFRA Toa Payoh. “The swimming pool is especially popular amongst residents, so understandably, we received many requests for us to keep it open,” he recalls. 

It was a conundrum for this newly instated Chairman. SAFRA Toa Payoh was an important lifestyle hub for the district, so he wanted to support the developments necessary for the TPID, but he also wanted to ensure that the interests of SAFRA members were protected.

Roysten chose to do what he does best – collaborate. “The EC and SAFRA Club Management team came together to really scrutinise the pool’s visiting statistics. Who are frequent visitors of the pool and at what time is it most crowded? Armed with facts and figures, we devised a win-win scenario in which we could accede to requests on a case-by-case basis without compromising the experience of our SAFRA members,” he shares.  

“Beyond our lifestyle offerings, it is crucial to remember that we are part of a community. Our events are catered for SAFRA members, but that doesn’t mean that members of the public are not welcome. SAFRA Toa Payoh should be inclusive, so that we retain our multi-generational qualities and appeal,” he shares. 

He has already identified some prevalent lifestyle trends that he hopes SAFRA Toa Payoh can embrace in time to come. One of them is fitness and active living, which guides the upgrading works of its EnergyOne gym studio. Community engagement and social impact are two other pillars that Roysten wants SAFRA Toa Payoh to continue supporting, with events such as “Let’s Gift For A Reason” for participants to engage in active volunteerism and charity work. There are also facilities catered for hobbyists, such as its Photo Studio Room and Darkroom, to which members of SAFRA’s Content Creator Club can book for their exclusive use. 

Of course, the work doesn’t stop there. Roysten is set on uplifting SAFRA Toa Payoh’s aesthetics with more vibrant visuals and colours, with eye-catching motifs to encapsulate the clubhouse’s vivacious personality. This joins a long to-do list for SAFRA Toa Payoh, which includes an updated vendor mix and a revitalised swimming pool. 

A strong advocate for the next generation of leaders

Ultimately, SAFRA Toa Payoh is meant to represent the aspirations, goals, and needs of its primary audience – NSmen and their families. In his vision, Roysten hopes for SAFRA Toa Payoh to better accommodate some of the experiential and exploratory desires of our youth, so that they can gather as many life lessons as they can to prepare for the obstacles of the future.

Having gone through a considerably eventful journey himself, Roysten has some parting advice for our younger readers:

“Reach out, speak to people, read widely and continuously upskill to improve yourselves. The market will always be volatile and unpredictable, but what you have is time on your side. Seize opportunities to try new things, be ready to take some hard knocks and keep bouncing back. Things may not always go according to plan, but that isn’t always a bad thing.”

As Dory says in Finding Nemo, just keep swimming! 

Want more articles like this, and other lifestyle content right in your inbox? Download the new SAFRA mobile app and opt in for the eNSman Newsletter – you don’t need to be a SAFRA member to subscribe – and never miss another story! 

The post SAFRA Toa Payoh’s EC Chairman Roysten Lee Upholds SAFRA’s Tradition Of Giving Back appeared first on eNSMAN.

One would expect a gym to be a space full of fitness enthusiasts engrossed in their own training routines. In fact, it’s more likely that you’ll hear the sounds of exercise machinery than social banter.

That’s what makes this blooming love story between Dylan and Charmaine ever more fascinating. These sweethearts, who are both in their 20s, found one another unexpectedly while exercising at the gym. Here, they share their story of how two gym-goers were brought together by a passion for fitness. 

Love in a most unexpected place

It was just another ordinary day for Dylan Doo at the gym.

Consistently driven to attain a gold award for his then-upcoming Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT), Dylan usually kept to himself and the fitness routine that he had meticulously cultivated over his many years as a gym enthusiast. In fact, it seemed like reticence was the unspoken decorum in his gym studio. “Most people would just keep to themselves as they go about their workout,” he remarked.

Little did he know, but Dylan was about to find himself at the centre of Charmaine Tay’s attention. 

Having begun her fitness journey since her undergraduate days, personal wellness was more of a lifestyle than regimen for Charmaine. “It started from a daily 2.4km jog at 4am and grew into regular visits to the gym with friends,” Charmaine shares, expressing gratitude for her friends’ guidance in helping her to learn how to operate the gym’s various equipment. 

During one serendipitous visit, she spotted Dylan in the midst of his workout routine and was intrigued by what she observed. “He was engaged in speed reps at the abdominal curls machine, and I just couldn’t help wondering if his approach was more efficient that the one that I had been taught,” she recalls. True to her inquisitive nature as a social researcher, Charmaine decided to approach Dylan.  

For Dylan, however, this spontaneous interaction was a novel one. No one had ever approached him during his many visits to the gym, let alone enquire about his routine. “I thought she was flirting with me!” he quipped, continuing that “she denies it to date, but we’ll let the readers decide!” 

While it may (or may not be) an innocuous gesture on Charmaine’s end, Dylan was immediately captivated. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two, so much so that he decided to take a leap of faith. “I only remember an inner voice telling me, “You won’t know if you don’t try”. I had no idea how to pick up girls (the struggles of an introvert!) but there was just this unexplainable feeling that made me ask for her number,” he confides. Thankfully, Charmaine happily obliged to this somewhat abrupt request! 

That date – 15 December 2017 – marked a very special day for these lovebirds as it represented the beginning of a kindling spark lit by their intertwining paths.

Two different people, one heart

As they got to know one another, Dylan and Charmaine would soon realise that they were as different as they were similar, both in personality and in the manner in which they expressed affection.  

Dylan’s the quintessential cautious wanderer who ensures his checklist is fully ticked off, while Charmaine goes off the beaten path, chasing adventures that promise thrills and excitement. He finds the act of gift-giving to be a canvas for expressing his feelings, while  Charmaine derives joy from simply spending time with those she loves. 

Differences notwithstanding, the couple appreciates the opportunity to explore this contrast and how their respective quirks could be complementary. “It’s exciting to learn more about our different worlds, and how we can work together to bridge these two realms,” they share. Already, they are uplifting one another; Charmaine encourages Dylan to step out of his comfort zone and embrace his more experiential side, and Dylan is a comforting presence for when Charmaine overthinks about life’s many uncertainties. 

Time spent together is always an adventure

The couple still works out together, having found a second home at EnergyOne Gym (E1), more specifically, at its outlet at SAFRA Choa Chu Kang. Dylan continues his IPPT-inspired routine which involves a mix of cardio, static, machines and weights, while Charmaine prefers a more robust combination of mixed martial arts (MMA) and callisthenics. The convenience and affordability of an E1 membership along with its dependent membership enables them to continue pursuing their fitness goals without having to compromise on their recreational time and finances.

Although, for this young couple, working out is more than just for the physical and aesthetic achievements. It’s also a reminder for them to not just make time for one another, but for themselves as well. “No matter how busy we get at work, it is so important that we carve out time to work on both our physical and mental health,” Charmaine reflects, adding that “if I don’t work out at least once a week, something feels off.” 

They never expected to be struck by Cupid’s arrow at a gym. But, life comes with its fair share of twists and turns. Who would have thought that a simple interaction at a gym would blossom into a beautiful pairing of two unique and special souls? 

“Looking back, we were just fortunate that we were at the right place at the right time,” they introspect.

Get fit together with these easy exercises you can do with your partner!

Until 31 December 2024, SAFRA members and their dependents enjoy 50% off the joining fee when they sign up for a E1 membership (Applicable for new sign-ups of Platinum membership only). Additionally, existing members enjoy 2 months worth of membership for free when they renew their membership for 18 months or more. For more information, visit safra.sg/energyone-gym

Want more articles like this, and other lifestyle content right in your inbox? Download the new SAFRA mobile app and opt in for the eNSman Newsletter – you don’t need to be a SAFRA member to subscribe – and never miss another story!

The post Love at First Lift: An EnergyOne Tale Of Romance appeared first on eNSMAN.

You might recognise Xie Jia Fa as the host of #发哥好介绍 on 88.3JIA, a programme that shares music, entertainment and lifestyle content, with a special focus on local food on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So if there’s one person you can trust to give you the best food and restaurant recommendations, it’s the self-confessed foodie who loves eating out, trying new dining spots and reviewing trendy dishes. 

Jia Fa hopes that his listeners and more than 22,000 Instagram followers enjoy his food recommendations as much as he likes sharing them. 

“I get really motivated when my listeners message me on Instagram to tell me that they like the authenticity of my reviews and my suggestions on where and what to eat,” says the popular food influencer. 

“It’s important to me that my listeners know that I genuinely stand by the places I recommend. For me, it’s about staying real and giving honest reviews that people can trust.”

Obsessed with food

Jia Fa jokes that he only shares his food recommendations and photos on Instagram because he shudders at having to see his selfies on the social media platform. 

But, on a more serious note, he’s a guy who loves to eat and is fascinated by what goes into making a dish taste good. If you check out Jia Fa’s Instagram page, you’ll see more than 4,000 photos and reels of his foodie adventures. 

Jia Fa has pretty much eaten his way through Singapore – from minced pork noodles at Old Airport Road Food Centre and Hokkien mee at Hainanese Village Food Centre, to pork porridge on Veerasamy Road and Indonesian tahu goreng at Lucky Plaza. But if he had to choose one dish he wouldn’t mind eating again and again, it’s the simple fried chicken wing. Not just any old chicken wing, though. 

“One of my favourite places for fried chicken wings is Da Ji Hainanese Chicken Rice 達記海南雞饭, located at Block 75, Lorong 5 Toa Payoh,” he shares. 

“There’s always a long queue for their wings, which cost $1.50 each and are marinated with turmeric, which makes them beautifully aromatic. And they’re really juicy, too.”

He also loves Japanese cuisine. His go-to omakase spot is Sushi Masaaki in South Beach Tower. 

“I love sushi with a unique blend of vinegar and when it’s paired with different types of seafood. My favourite sushi dish at Sushi Masaaki is the Akami.”

What Jia Fa loves most about Singapore’s food scene is that it’s always evolving and there are always new dining trends to keep up with. 

“In the last few months, for instance, I’ve noticed an increasing number of eateries offering lala and prawn hotpot as well as pasta and pizza,” he says. 

To stave off weight gain from all the rich food he eats, Jia Fa makes it a point to work out at least five or six times a week. In fact, you’re likely to find him on the cross-trainer at any of the EnergyOne gyms at SAFRA clubs.

And to prevent indigestion, Jia Fa tries to take a long walk after eating, which helps to settle his stomach. He also tries to relax in the sauna when he visits the EnergyOne gym. 

Best – and worst – food memories

It’s not surprising that Jia Fa rarely eats at home. He only has two meals a day, and because he’s always being invited out to family meals and food tastings for work, he prefers to eat out. 

That said, when he does have a homecooked meal, he prefers his mum’s fried rice, which he describes as his ultimate favourite dish. 

“It’s not laden with wok hei – that complex, charred, smoky flavour that’s achieved through stir-frying at extremely high temperatures – but just simply prepared with soy sauce and eggs. It’s the perfect comfort food.”

Jia Fa also likes travelling to eat, and says that he plans most of his overseas trips around the restaurants he wants to try. On a recent trip to Shanghai, China, he got to sample an amazing noodle dish recommended by a local Chinese barber.  

“The noodles were in a league of their own – freshly made, springy noodles tossed in onion oil and soy sauce, and piled with a mountain of pork liver. The Chinese really know their noodles!”

Another dish he’ll never forget is the nasi lemak at Changi Air Base. It was one of his favourites during his National Service (NS) days, when he was attached to 121 Squadron as a photographer.

“The chicken wings and chilli sambal were especially addictive,” he quips.

The cookhouse also offered Western meals on Fridays. Jia Fa couldn’t wait to tuck into the roast chicken with vegetables and says that the dish always lifted his mood and got him looking forward to the weekends.

If he could choose one dish to add to the cookhouse repertoire, Jia Fa would go with Hokkien hae mee, a hearty and flavourful prawn noodle soup that he says is perfect for cold days and makes him feel good inside. 

“Good food can go a long way towards boosting morale and making NS a more positive and fulfilling experience,” he explains.

He’s had some bad restaurant visits, too – but not because of the food.

“I recently ate at a Chinese restaurant and was put off by the service staff because they kept pushing me to order expensive dishes like the cold crab and alcohol. I don’t even like cold crab and I rarely drink alcohol to begin with. It’s because of their pushiness that I didn’t enjoy my meal. That was my first and last visit.”

Jia Fa also recalls specific foods he will never eat again because they literally left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. 

“I once tried bat, snake and rat at the infamous Tomohon Extreme Market in North Sulawesi, Indonesia, for a TV shoot back in 2016. I can still taste those strong flavours when I think back to that trip. Those aren’t foods I’d ever try again!”

Don’t miss the Lifestyle Food content on the CAMOKAKIS app, and follow 88.3JIA and Jia Fa’s socials for the latest updates: Instagram @883jia, TikTok @883jia and Facebook @883jia, and Instagram @883jiafa and TikTok @883jiafa

Want more articles like this, and other lifestyle content right in your inbox? Download the new SAFRA mobile app and opt in for the eNSman Newsletter – you don’t need to be a SAFRA member to subscribe – and never miss another story!

The post 88.3JIA DJ Jia Fa: The Food Influencer On His Must-Eats & What He’ll Never Eat Again appeared first on eNSMAN.

If you’re a Korean pop (K-pop) fan, you’ve probably tuned into 88.3JIA K-POP on the Camokakis app, hosted by Siyun. The 24-hour music stream features the best of Korean pop music, with the latest K-Pop news and happenings.  

DJ Siyun is just as passionate about K-pop as her Gen-Z listeners. In fact, she’s been a fan of anything Korean – also known as Hallyu or the Korean wave – since she was about 13 years old. 

“My curiosity about Korea and its culture began with my love for Korean food,” she shares. 

“Over the years, my curiosity developed into a deeper interest in K-pop and Korean dramas. I was a teenager when I realised how much I enjoyed them. The first K-pop group I liked was TVXQ – I would listen to their songs repeatedly during my student years. 

“My comfort food consisted of Korean soup dishes, and watching K-dramas was one of my favourite things to do in my free time. I’d secretly hoped that one day I could master the Korean language and work in a field related to my love for everything Korean. I never imagined that this dream would one day become a reality, and I feel incredibly lucky and grateful that my current job is centred around K-pop and Hallyu. As for mastering Korean, it still remains on my wish list and goals.”

The appeal of Hallyu

More than just Korean entertainment, Siyun is obsessed with Korea’s food culture and Hangul (the Korean alphabet). She says that for many people, kimchi and Korean BBQ may be the first things they think of when it comes to Korean food, but Korea has many other delicious and unique dishes worth discovering. There are so many other Korean dishes to try, like sundubu-jjigae (Korean soft tofu stew), ganjang gejang (soy marinated raw crab), cheonggukjang jjigae (fermented soybean paste stew) and dwaeji-gukbap (Korean pork soup). Even when it comes to kimchi, Siyun says that there is a very wide variety of choices.

“And as for Hangul, I first learned about its creation by King Sejong after watching the 2011 drama, Deep Rooted Tree,” she adds. 

“This deepened my understanding of how Hangul came to be and made me realise how profound it is.”

As well as K-dramas, Siyun likes watching Korean variety shows and online programmes. 

It’s no surprise that Siyun has travelled to Korea several times, most recently to Seoul in April for her pre-wedding photo shoot. She’s also visited Busan in the past.

Favourite K-pop bands and K-dramas

Siyun believes that K-dramas are popular with Singaporeans because of their high production quality – beautiful cinematography, strong acting, and impressive visuals of the actors, complemented by engaging storylines and catchy soundtracks. 

She points out that many K-dramas also focus on universal themes like family, love, and personal growth, so audiences can relate to them. Plus, they provide a connection to Korean culture.

“What I find most appealing about K-dramas is how they can evoke a wide range of emotions while also also providing warmth, comfort, and valuable life lessons. Korean entertainment has a unique way of connecting you to both the culture and the rich history of the country.”

Similarly, K-pop’s popularity is fuelled by the captivating visuals and skills of K-pop idols, unique concepts, catchy tunes, and powerful choreography, all of which attract a large fanbase, she adds. 

Siyun’s first favourite K-pop group was TVXQ, originally a five-member boy band made up of U-Know Yunho, Max Changmin, Hero Jaejoong, Xiah Junsu and Micky Yoochun. 

She admired the group for their vocal abilities, harmonies, and powerful dance performances. Unfortunately, TVXQ is no longer active as a five-member group and Siyun says that she regrets never going to see them in concert.

She was also into CNBLUE and loves their music to this day. 

“Their live performances are truly impressive – in fact, I went to support them when they performed in Singapore this April, and I’m looking forward to attending more CNBLUE concerts in the future,” she shares.

If you’re new to K-pop, Siyun recommends listening to CNBLUE, IU, Blackpink and Twice. If you like new-generation groups, she says that NewJeans, aespa and IVE are worth a listen. Naturally, there are countless other K-pop groups and artists worth recommending, far too many to name in one go. If you’re not sure where to start, you can tune in to 88.3JIA K-POP on the Camokakis app and enjoy a stream of K-pop songs!

Siyun longs to someday meet Jaejoong and CNBLUE. 

“They hold a special place in my heart because I’ve listened to them for so many years,” she says. 

As for K-dramas, Siyun is especially drawn to storylines with fantasy elements, such as time travel. She’s a huge fan of Queen of Tears (2024), Doctor Slump (2024), Twinkling Watermelon (2023), 18 Again (2020), and 49 Days (2011).

Tune in for the best of K-pop and lots more

K-Pop fans can sample 88.3JIA K-POP on 88.3JIA every weekday from 11pm to 12am. They can also catch the latest K-Pop content on Siyun’s Instagram and TikTok accounts.

Siyun says that besides discussing K-pop on her programme, she hopes to engage all her listeners – including NSmen – by talking about other topics that are relevant to them, like daily life and stress. 

“Through conversations and music, I hope that my show helps them relax and offers a break from the daily grind. I also take the opportunity to give shout-outs to our NSmen listeners, to show my appreciation for their service as well as to express my support for them.”

Don’t miss the Lifestyle content on the CAMOKAKIS app, and follow 88.3JIA and Siyun’s socials for the latest updates: Instagram @883jia, TikTok @883jia and Facebook @883jia, and Instagram @883siyun and TikTok @883siyun

Want more articles like this, and other lifestyle content right in your inbox? Download the new SAFRA mobile app and opt in for the eNSman Newsletter – you don’t need to be a SAFRA member to subscribe – and never miss another story!

The post 88.3JIA DJ Siyun On Her Passion For Hallyu & All Things Korean appeared first on eNSMAN.

No parent wants to see their child struggle alone, but then again, no parent also wants to see their child being perpetually dependent on parental care. So, how can parents provide their children the guidance they need without doing so excessively? 

President of the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (NAFA), University of the Arts Singapore and former principal of CHIJ St. Nicholas Girl’s School and Anderson Secondary School, Mrs Tan-Soh Wai Lan, who is also an author and mother of three grown-up children, understands this conundrum not just from a professional standpoint, but also a personal one.

Read the first half of Wai Lan’s interview here, where she shares about what it means to want the best for our children.

In part 2 of her interview, Wai Lan shares how it is crucial that parents and children alike embrace mistakes as part of the journey, the importance of open-hearted communication, and the role gratitude plays in spreading positivity in a family.

Here to guide, not to fish

Wai Lan offers a simple, yet profound adage for parents looking to find that balance. “I believe it’s always better to teach them to fish than to fish for them. We’re their protectors and guides, not spoonfeeders,” she says. 

An advocate for self-directed learning, she believes that to teach good habits is to let children learn the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof). She recalls a time when one of her daughters, who was in Primary 4 at the time, was assigned to complete a group project with three other classmates. Unfortunately, the trio that she found herself working with was just as disorganised as she was. “They just couldn’t agree on anything,” she shared, “The parents of her group mates called me a few times to join them to help the children complete their project. But I always said no.” 

It wasn’t that Wai Lan didn’t want to help her daughter, but she wanted to let her deal with unfavourable circumstances on her own. “If we help rescue them for a better grade, they will not experience what they ought to do as a student. We need to allow them to respond to the real consequences of inaction and poor decisions, and school is the safest place for them to truly grasp these implications,” she muses. In fact, this may also be a more reliable way to deter them from poor planning or impulsive behaviour.

During term breaks, Wai Lan would get her children to do up their own timetables on how they would like to spend their holidays. “It doesn’t have to be entirely centred around school obligations like homework. They would plan which places they would like to visit, what they wanted to do, and we would go through this schedule together as a family. Of course, they might not fulfil all of their plans, but that creates an opportunity for us to do a post-assessment of how they can better manage their time and responsibilities in future,” she shares.

Keep talking!

And this isn’t just strictly for parents. Wai Lan believes that relationships flourish best when both parties are willing to not just express themselves authentically, but also listen compassionately. 

“As parents, we really should walk the talk. Perhaps you were not chosen for a special assignment, or you had a disagreement with your colleagues. Don’t feel like you need to hide this from your children! They need to know that they aren’t alone in dealing with setbacks, and that it isn’t the end of the world when things don’t work out,” she advises, though she also cautions parents not to overshare in the process. “Of course, the last thing we want is for our kids to worry about us. Share enough for them to understand your challenges. Come up with possible solutions, almost like case studies, where both you and your kids can collaborate on a positive, productive approach to real-life issues.”

Wai Lan also makes it a point to remind parents in her schools that while they should share their own anecdotes, it is equally important to listen to their children’s life happenings as well. By giving them the space to share their observations and feelings, parents can then better identify any potential red flags and intervene accordingly. In her book, An Attitude of Gratitude, she shared this personal story, “My two older children had always assimilated well in school, so I assumed that would be the case for my youngest child. Like I did with her siblings, I gave her lots of worksheets and assessments to practise on. One day, she repeatedly voiced out that her chest was uncomfortable. We sent her for a thorough medical examination, worried that she might have a heart affliction. Turns out, she was physically healthy, perfectly so. But the mental stress of the worksheets was affecting her,” she recalled. “It was kind of a rude awakening for me – that all of my children are different. I started to give my youngest child more freedom to do her own revisions, at her own pace and affirmed her for her efforts. Just half a year later, she caught up with her peers and exceeded mine as well as her own expectations.”

For Wai Lan, it was a sober realisation that beyond all else, she simply wants her children to grow up healthy, happy and confident. And to provide them the affirmation that they truly have done their best, and make sure it comes from a place of love. 

A hint of gratitude every single day

As the core theme of her book An Attitude of Gratitude, thankfulness is the cornerstone of any working relationship. And it doesn’t have to be expressed through over-the-top gestures. “For all my kids and students, I task them to note down daily three simple things they are grateful for in a journal. It could be something nice their friends said to them, or an everyday observation which resonates with them. The only guideline they need to follow is that their lists have to be different every single day,” says Wai Lan. 

She is one to walk the talk, having hand-written over 50 messages of appreciation for her many mentors and friends when she embarked on a gratitude project some years back. “The actual expression of gratitude brings me so much joy and happiness. Not only am I reminded of the many people in my life who have been there for me, but also that I am given the opportunity to make their day a little brighter,” she explains. 

On that note, she wants to emphasise that her sharing here is not intended to teach or lecture parents, but rather provide a perspective that is largely guided by her own experience with children. No parenting journey is perfect – like your kids, you will make mistakes along the way – and that’s fine! With unconditional love as your compass, and gratitude as your map, you can trust your steady steps on the path ahead.

“An Attitude of Gratitude” is a heartfelt tribute to the many blessings Mrs Tan-Soh Wai Lan has experienced throughout her remarkable life journey. The book chronicles the various roles she has undertaken — often simultaneously — as student, scholar, teacher, mother, school leader, and now, author. She reflects on how a spirit of gratitude has shaped her passionate commitment to nurturing our greatest resource: our youths. Get her book from the Straits Times Press at stbooks.sg/an-attitude-of-gratitude

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The post NAFA President & Former Principal Tan-Soh Wai Lan On Empowering Our Children, “We have to walk the talk.” appeared first on eNSMAN.